Letter 7: Redemption

My late teenage years and early years as an adult were filled with moments of incredible impact that molded me like wet clay.

You know those moments that pick you up and drop kick you in the stomach, that leave you gasping for air when you feel like an elephant is sitting on your chest. Those moments were replaced with those filled with the most unbelievable sense of happiness and peace that I have experienced on this earth.  Redemption

Those days of incredible impact and grief came from:

- loss of my boss at work- alive one day- dead the next

- death of good friend in college from a car accident 2 months after she graduated college

- loss of my grandmother who was like my second mother

- unplanned pregnancy when I graduated high school when I truly was the "perfect" good girl who had it all

What I learned in those dark days is what I want to share with you....

- Life is all about how you handle the Plan B.  When things don't go your way, it is God's way of telling you that you should be somewhere else.  Listen....

- Don't take one single breathe on this earth for granted; you never know when you will not get another one.  Love those who treat you well with every fiber of your being and don't delay doing something important to you, because you might not get the opportunity.

- You are incredible strong.  It is in you.  You can do anything in this world that you want to do if you want it badly enough.Figure out what that is and DO IT.

From those days came incredible blessings and joy:

- I married your father/grandfather.  He truly is my rock and my best friend.  There is no one in this earthly world that I love and trust more than him. There is nothing I would not do for him and for our family. NOTHING.  He is my soul mate, and I have a connection with him that cannot be broken. Relationships are hard work, and I am most proud of what we have built together.  Honestly I pray every night that you each find someone that you can love as much as I love him.

- Each of you.  As I was a young mother, I am blessed because I get to spend more time with you.  I believe that being your mother is my calling and you will always be my masterpieces.

- No regrets.  I look back at the past and all my incredible career, family, financial, and spiritual successes and failures and know that I am right where I choose to be - where I am supposed to be.

That is HAPPINESS.

So when you face those moments of impact, those days and hours that force you to your knees, know that out of the pain can blossom the most beautiful flower if you just let go and let God guide you where you are supposed to be.

Love,
Mom

Letter 6: What is Right and What is Fair

We live in a world surrounded by people who do not do the right thing and by situations that are not fair.  And you know what, there is only one way to change that- do the right thing, be fair.  If you cannot convince people to do what is right and fair, then walk away from them and never look back.  People don't change unless they want to change.

Keep in mind the statistics of the real world:

Percentage of marriages that end in divorce in America: 53%

Medical field(s) with the highest divorce rate: psychiatrists and marriage counselors

Percentage of marriages where one or both spouses admit to infidelity, either physical or emotional: 41%

Percentage of men who admit to committing infidelity in any relationship they've had: 57%

Percentage of women who admit to committing infidelity in any relationship they've had: 54%

I could go on, but why?  You understand. The people that think they can tell you what is right and how to act have highest likelihood of failing.  

Notice that people have a hard time doing the right thing- more people do the wrong thing than the right.  Keep in mind that a marriage is the most important relationship you will ever have - Everything is at stake- your spouse, kids, parents, money, house, life.

So always do what is fair and right; regardless if everyone else is doing what is wrong and not fair.

Letter 5: Relationships Hurt

You said relationships suck today.  Let me tell you that could not be further from the truth. Your father and I am a living testament that.  I love your father and the life we have made – the four of you- more than I love anything on this side of heaven.  I cannot imagine not having that.  Our relationship truly is the most important gift I give myself.

Relationships, especially the one that you will someday have with the man that will luck enough to be your husband, are the fabric of life.  They are like the breath that you breathe, the magic that fills your sole fuller than you ever thought was possible. You don’t want to miss that….

Relationships take work though, lots of work.  They are not perfect, fuzzy, and warm all the time. They are not like the ones you see in movies or TV.  You have to work at getting to really know a person- past and all.  Good and bad. They take brutal honesty with yourself and the other person. They take compromise and maturity. 

 They take being willing to let yourself get hurt over and over again and to know that you could hurt another person.  That hurt you feel today is real and raw. It is the feeling of rejection, of jealousy, of fear.  All of those are the devils emotions.

You need to learn to have an open heart and the willingness to move past all of that to the future- OVER and OVER again with deliberate intent that relationships are worth it.

My advice for you is to find a way today to know that in the hurt, there is growth and understanding and care and love for another person.  To be grateful that you were willing to put yourself out there, and to know when the time is right you will do it again.

Letter 4: Not getting what you want

Yes, it is true.  You can sometimes work so hard for something you want and NOT GET IT or KEEP IT.

Crushing…That is the only way to word to describe the emotion that you feel today not making the team. I know. I have been there.  TOO MANY TIMES. EXACTLY LIKE TODAY….

This is the time when you work so hard for something for so long, to pour your time, talent, energy, existence into a goal and then not reach it or have it taken from you. You dream about it, you taste it, you see it and then you cannot get it or keep it.

It is a dark, dark place. A place that I knew you would one day go; however, where no mother ever wants to see their child no matter if you are 4 or 40.

There is no way to change it now, and to know that God has a plan even if you don’t see it.  You need to embrace the moment. 

I always say these intense disappointments that make no sense at the time are God’s not so subtle way of saying you are not where you are supposed to be.  And acceptance and understanding of that does not come easy.

"Our lives are not determined by what happens to us but by how we react to what happens, not by what life brings to us, but by the attitude we bring to life. A positive attitude causes a chain reaction of positive thoughts, events, and outcomes. It is a catalyst, a spark that creates extraordinary results. -Anon."

The lesson is to find that spark of positive attitude in the crushing emotion of disappointment and harness it to light a fire to place that you never thought you had the potential to go.

Lesson 3: The First Day

When I watch you walk up the steps with all the Seniors cheering you on and welcome you to high school, the memories flood back like an raging river.  It was literally just yesterday that I went on the same special journey.  I walked up those steps and through that door with enormous hopes and dreams for my future. I now have the same hopes and dreams for yours.

You walk through the doors such a different person than I was in some ways and exactly the same in others.  You know that this is the turning point: the moment in time where you will be forever changed. 

There is no going back, only forward.  A future filled with uncertainty now lies ahead like an empty journal with pages to be written.

The lesson here that you don’t not know is that you hold everything you need to walk that journey in your hands. 

There are some things that are worth holding tightly like your morals and values and individuality. Never let those go.

And there are some things like your friendship, your love, sensitivity and warmth that I hope you learn let go and give away freely.

First days are filled with such anticipation and nerves.  Don’t let that get the best of you. You hold everything you need.

Love always-

Mom

Letter 2: Wind of Change

As summer wraps up, there is certainly a wind of change in our house again. You  start high school tomorrow. It seems like literally yesterday you was going to kindergarden...

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." ~Oliver Wendell Holmes

My wish for you to harness what is within you and fly!!! Ride those winds of change! Change will never be easy, but it is worth it.

Love you!— Mom

Letter 1: Your Future

High school is starting.  There is no denying it.  You are growing up.  The first day of high school is always a turning point.  It is where you know you cannot go back to being that little pig-tailed girl or young boy, yet you don’t know yet know how to be an adult.  You will grow as a person more in the next 4 years than maybe any other time in your life.

Where your future goes is a journey that you will have to write the pages on your own. Your way. 

It will be hard at times like climbing the sledding hill for the 20^th time, but the ride to the bottom will be worth it most of the time. 

You can choose the way to go, the path in this adventure, the dirt roads to take, the paths to cut yourself, and when to follow the pack.

You will find who you are, who you are not, and who you want to be. When you find yourself on the wrong road in the wrong place, the lesson is learning not to regret  being there, rather it is to find the simple joy in all you have learned and figuring out how to turn the corner to someplace better. 

I am here to guide you, but I promised you that I would let you learn to fly.

My advice to you is: YOU OWN YOUR FUTURE.  Don’t let anyone else take that from you.  Your father and I have given you all we can, and we know you are strong enough to DO IT YOUR WAY.

Love,

Mom